Dear friends in Jesus Christ
I want to thank you, for coming to my blog today, friends, today I embrace you as my brothers and sisters, as I will try my best to share the role of Jesus Christ, in my life, and how he has saved me, how he has called me live life in God’s might.
I would start this session by saying that I was a born Catholic, yet I had so many questions in my life about Jesus Christ and there was no one to answer me, it’s simply because I wasn’t ready to understand what God wanted me to understand, I was Saul, who was against Christ.
I used to say in my heart that peace is nothing but an illusion of cowards, and God is just man made.
I was a follower of Adolf Hitler and his National Socialism, please do not get me wrong, for I did not support his killing millions, I was simply amazed by his speaking skills, by the words he spoke, and by the fake promises that he shared and by the Germany he built in so short time. I was blinded by what he said in the name of Providence.
I actually never wanted to know about Christ, so I couldn’t know him as simple as that.
Then I was a person who used to hate women, because of my rough childhood, because of my parents who was quite rude to me, it was mother, and thus I became a rebel. Everything they used to tell me, I used to do the opposite, for I didn’t love them. Whenever they used to talk to me I used to think that they are my enemies.
In the later days, I became a very dominant person, because I was afraid of women, so I embraced BDS from BDSM as my weapon against them. I stated to believe the fact that this was war, and offense is the best defense. I was desperate, desperate to go to any extent to destroy women from the face of the earth, not all, only the so called feminists, and the dominant breed of that gender.
Now even though all these has happened, that I was Saul, who was ready to persecute Christ, by persecuting women, Christ called me his brother, and it through a women, showed me that not all women are bad, a lot them are just living in sin, like I am, but some of them do have Christ in them, not through fake words, but through actions.
I finally understood that No man can love like God does until and unless God comes and shares it with them, which he so gloriously did, but we are blind to see it.
So it is through her that Christ gave a Bible on 1.3.13 and asked me to read it. I mean just imagine, an Anti-Christ, reading the Bible with no faith in him what so ever.
This is the proof in my life for what is written in Galatians 3:23-25
Later that year I got the opportunity to enroll in the city’s Bible School, that happens in our Archdiocese, that was the time, when I was actually spoken about the love of Christ which St Paul so much experienced, but poor me, that was all in vein because I was busy taking notes, and counseling people with so few knowledge thinking that I’m a man of God, without actually experiencing Christ Jesus.
It went on for a year, and the year the amazing, I thought I helped a lot of persons, forgetting that it was Christ who actually did that for me, so that I do not embrace myself. And watching my victory, I was so proud, of myself, that I forgot that common people are actually my brothers and sisters, I forgot who they are, and I stated to think like I’m a King of Knowledge, in Christ Jesus.
So God punished me for that, for 1 year, I suffered, but he didn’t let me be killed, in the process he made me humble, humble to see not only the Kingdom of God, but to see Father’s Glory, Christ’s Love and Spirit’s Power, that not only I can have fellowship with God, but I can show it to the entire world.
So this proved what is written in 2 Corinthians 7:10 in my life.
Maybe it was God’s will that he chose to save me again, for now my heart wasn’t proud, for I understood, how futile I am, just a lump of clay, I understood that I’m still living in this world, because God wanted me to live.
Then you must have this question Do I still Hate Women?
To answer you I must tell you that God made everything though his Words, and one day when I was praying He gave these two messages.
It was told to me because I was plotting against them, I was persecuting women who were still fatherless, who was orphan, now by fatherless I mean, they are still living in sin, therefore they cannot see the love of Christ, So they cannot see Christ and eventually they cannot see God the Father, and ultimately they are no way closer to the Holy Spirit, who will make them the “Daughters of the Father” remember what “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” – John 14:6
The second message that I got that day was
Please don’t think that the Lord our God has destroyed my enemies, not he didn’t, all he did was the destroy the enmity between us. For now he has led me to believe that “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:13 and as part of my mission he has asked me to show the Good News, the Love, which he has loved me with, to the world, that also means to women too.
I had an encounter with Jesus Christ in the Holy Week on Maundy Thursday, when my feet was being washed, and I still remember when one of the most reputed priests of our church kissed my feet that day, I felt like Lord Jesus Christ is doing that, and I still remember that one tear drop came out from my eyes, and I can only say the word “Lord”.
And what follows is this that on this Good Friday, 25.03.2016, God heard my prayers, he heard my prayers which I prayed before, on my knees, telling him that, I do not have any where to go, that If he choose not to save me now, I do not know what will happen.
I was still living in sin though, so in the Holy Week, I remember the council of two priests, when I went for confession, one told me; “In this Good Friday offer all your sins to God.: And the other one told me “Ask the Lord and he will find a way.”
And thus I prayed likewise on Good Friday, I prayed for my sins, and I prayed for forgiveness, and I prayed that the light of the world, our Jesus, enters my heart and finds me a way that I live with, because I have sinned a lot, and I do not want to do it anymore.
I felt peace after praying that, later that day I and mother had an argument, and I was upset because I got angry on my family for not supporting me, because I knew I was right.
So I asked the Lord, like I was told by the priest earlier that day, “Ask the Lord and he will find a way”, I just said, “God, please show me a way”. And believe me, after a few minutes I got a grace, and I got a message telling me “Go, forgive your mother, your father and your aunt, Go, embrace them and Kiss them as I have done it to you.”
Friends that was the day, when for the first time in my life, I understood Christ, I understood his love, I understood his mercy and I stated understanding his greatness.
All of these happened so that the glory of the father and the glory of the son and the glory of the spirit, can be expressed in action on earth.
Later that day, I went for celebration of the passion of our Lord Jesus, and the adoration of the holy cross to our parish. And I saw that many people has turned the Good Friday into a Grieve Friday, if not for lord Jesus Christ I would have done the same mistake again.
I understood that I was happy, strange right? Do not feel that I’m diabolic, not I do not share any glory in the cross other than that my sins are forgiven, through the lamb, it was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day for atonement of sins for me, it was Jesus for me, who died on my behalf so that I can be set free, free to see and do father’s holy will.
And believe me, I know that is my day of resurrection too, because that day as God forgave me, it stated a new life in my life, a life with God, for now I was at peace with God though his first son Jesus Christ, and I was born again, not to any denomination of the Church, but as a Christian, a fellow Apostle of Jesus Christ, ready to serve him.
I was born with a different name, and still I’m persecuted by my enemies, but now I know the secret to love them, for the truth is this that if I cannot forgive and love back my enemies, I’m no Christian. But then how can I not forgive my enemies, when our father called me “MY SON” and gave me a name at my request Abraham.
Friends, now you have witnessed, the story of Christ Jesus, and how he changed me, saved me to be precise.
Father showed me that it was necessary for my abusive childhood, it was also necessary that it would be impossible for me to forgive women, so that through that impossibility God’s glory can be expressed to me.
Now you tell me, why would I have believed in Jesus, if he didn’t turn this impossibility to conclusion? To be fulfilled?
So now, I live freely to do the will of our heavenly father, he who commands and leads me into so many ventures, I’m blessed by the Spirit that is holy, for he guides me in everything, whether I’m writing to you or I’m praying or whether I’m just trying to live my life in God’s might, loving people just like Jesus loved me.
Today I wrote this to you because it was shown to me, that the ministry of Jesus Christ of Nazareth was about 3-3.5 years, from 30 to 33 AD, where he lived with his Apostles and taught them well, on how to be his Apostles, so in the past three years he did live with me in spirit too, taught me how too how be His Apostle.
I tell you friends, this story was not about me, I was just a person filled with hate, but it’s the story of the Son of God, who died for my hate, and loved me even in his death. So that I can rise up through him, in him, and with him to bring glory to father, forever and ever and ever. Amen
He is calling you too, through many of his instruments, better named as Apostles, but are you ready to let him in?
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